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Fun with surveys

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#1 Seagis

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Posted 14 February 2015 - 04:03 PM

Last Saturday SWMBO took her van to the dealership I used to work for in order to get it inspected. On Thursday evening I got a survey in my inbox asking for my opinion of the service visit. We dealt with a couple dozen of these things every day when I worked there, so I decided to have a little bit of fun with it. After the standard bit where you fill in the radio buttons ("With 1 being the lowest rating and 10 being the highest rating, tell us . . . ") there is an essay question that asks what the dealership could do to create a more enjoyable customer experience, This is my response: 

[color=#0000cd;]Having worked at Motor Mile Chrysler Jeep Dodge for close to three years before leaving in 2014, I had the privilege of working with the service advisor that handled my service visit, a man named Joseph X. Whiting. The "X" stands for "Fabulous." Joseph is a man among men. I implore my children to aspire to become like Joseph when they manage to claw their way out of the screeching misery of adolescence and finally grab the golden ring that is adulthood.That being said, what I would like to recommend to Motor Mile Chrysler Jeep Dodge to make future Service visits more satisfying is as follows: I would like to have erected in the customer waiting area a statue of Motor Mile Chrysler Jeep Dodge's Principal, David Hagan, suited in the finest robes and holding an ancient claymore (think William Wallace's sword in Braveheart) while standing majestically atop a charging rhinoceros. The statue should be made of solid gold (24-karat, preferably) and built to roughly the same dimensions as God gave Noah when directing him to build the ark as laid out in the 6th chapter of the book of Genesis: 300 cubits by 50 cubits by 30 cubits. This will, of course, necessitate elevating the roof of the building given that 300 cubits is roughly 450 feet. I think you will agree, however, that this is a small price to pay for customer satisfaction.I know full well the cunning and resourcefulness that Joseph has proven himself capable of time and again. Need I remind anyone of how he single handedly rescued a group of nuns from a horde of lovestruck penguins using only a paper clip and a back issue of People magazine? Such is the stuff of legend, men. With that being said, if anyone on the planet that I am pleased to call my home is capable of seeing this vision to complete fruition, it would be Joseph X. (for “Fabulous”) Whiting.That is all. God save the Queen![/color]

 I forwarded a copy of this to the two former co-workers that I shared my department with. Yesterday morning I get a text from one of my co-workers that simply says "Call me." I call him and he answers the phone with "The best word I can think of to describe this is viral." He read it himself, called the lead Dodge service advisor in to read it and within 10 minutes all 20 members of the service team had read it. Travis (my former co-worker) said that the service manager had forwarded it to David Hagan (who, as mentioned above, is the owner of the company) who called the service manager back to ask why they let me leave. Alan (the service manager) said David was on the phone laughing so hard that he sounded like a girl. I was going for a couple of laughs. I didn't expect to get this kind of mileage out of it. :frank:
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#2 Stains_not_here_man

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Posted 14 February 2015 - 04:05 PM

You and me, we're cut from the same cloth.  This is exactly the kind of shit I find hilarious and almost no one else in my life does.... :D    I approve, heartily.  :cheers:

 

If you like this kind of thing you should read this book..

 

https://www.amazon.c...y/dp/0380973545


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#3 Trub L

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Posted 14 February 2015 - 04:13 PM

What's a cubit?
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#4 Stains_not_here_man

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Posted 14 February 2015 - 04:20 PM

What's a cubit?

 

:D

 

hoping this is the reference I think it is


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#5 Trub L

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Posted 14 February 2015 - 04:21 PM

Foopah
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#6 Stains_not_here_man

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Posted 14 February 2015 - 04:21 PM

obeey kaybeey!


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#7 Seagis

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Posted 14 February 2015 - 04:23 PM

What's a cubit?

 

How long can you tread water? Haaa haaa haaa.

You and me, we're cut from the same cloth.  This is exactly the kind of shit I find hilarious and almost no one else in my life does.... :D    I approve, heartily.   :cheers:

 

If you like this kind of thing you should read this book..

 

https://www.amazon.c...y/dp/0380973545

 

*adds to Amazon wishlist*


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