Good afternoon. *feedback* Good afternoon. In less than a few hours, drinkers from here will join others from around the world and you will be launching the largest party in the history of mankind.
Mankind. That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common thirst. Perhaps it is fate that today is St. Patrick's Day and you will once again be celebrating not the arrival of Christianity in Ireland, or heritage, or culture, but the right for arms to bear cups.
We're chugging for our thirst, to make it stronger than the flesh that serves it. And should we win the day, St. Patricks Day will no longer be known as an Ireland holiday, but the day the world declared in one voice,
"We will not go quietly into the night. We will drink varnish, throat sanitizer, set gasoline on fire and huff the fumes. We're going to die out. Our corpses will revive. Today is the day we celebrate our St. Patrick's Day!