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Criminal problem solving: Money Laundering


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#1 dagomike

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 06:32 AM

So, say you find $1 million in a bag in a field along the lines of Fargo. You are the only one who knows about the money, so not A Simple Plan scenario.

 
Your first decision is whether to leave it there, bring it to the cops, or keep it.
 
If you keep it, you have two things to consider. A criminal type is likely to come looking for it and the cash could be marked or serial numbers recorded.
 
So, lets say you roll the dice that the criminal type had a fortunate meeting with a wood chipper or you feel confident it won’t be traced to you. So, you just need to be concerned with laundering the money.
 
Let’s also say you are in no financial distress and this could be something you could do over several years. This also means you’re not overly concerned about losing say 1/2 of it if it meant safely staying off the radar of law enforcement and criminal types - whether those who lost it or drawing attention of other criminal types. And to be safe, you want to keep it secret from your family, except for your spouse if necessary. 
 
How would you, as a normal person, go about laundering the money, keeping in mind we effectively live in a surveillance state?

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#2 BrewerGeorge

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 06:39 AM

Go to flea markets and buy gold with cash.  Buy some rural property and bury it.  "Find it" and pay the taxes.



#3 KSUwildcatFAN

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 06:41 AM

Laundering means paying taxes and making it clean. I don't think it's be brave enough to risk prison time over it personally. I think you can give it to police and if no one claims it after x amount of time, it's yours. I don't think anyone would claim that, almost definitely had illegal intentions.

But, if I had to clean it myself. I'd buy some cheap cash business that would at least break even, like a hole in the wall bar, and over report the income across several years.
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#4 Vagus

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 06:45 AM

A million? Hold for 10 years and then shawshank pantleg it.  


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#5 dondewey

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 06:45 AM

You could just use cash for most expenses. Live large, but look like you are living frugally. An extra 3-4 grand a month in savings could be super nice.
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#6 badogg

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 07:03 AM

Buy a car wash. Heisenberg style.
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#7 porter

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 07:07 AM

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0120324/
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#8 djinkc

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 07:10 AM

MM shop


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#9 Genesee Ted

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 07:17 AM

You could just use cash for most expenses. Live large, but look like you are living frugally. An extra 3-4 grand a month in savings could be super nice.

Yup.
Or cash business

#10 Sidney Porter

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 07:20 AM

I knew a guy whos wife's parents never had real jobs and did all types of cash business. The mom was dead prior me knowing them but I knew them when the dad died.

The found cash hidden in books. Not millions but in the 50-75k range. The bigger thing was storage units. Found a storage unit filled with portable generators, during hurricane season he would sell them out of trucks. Another storage had electronics (tv, DVD/ Blu Ray etc). Knock off jerseys, purses etc.

No idea what he ended up doing with the stuff. I assume the cash was low enough that they could keep it as cash and spend. It was the merchandise that he struggled knowing what to do. No idea how the story played out
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#11 dagomike

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 07:22 AM

Buy some rural property and bury it.  "Find it" and pay the taxes.

 

Would that raise any questions? Like someone may want to talk to the previous owners? Potential lawsuit, maybe?

 

Gold/silver could work. The catch is, I think, once you go somewhere you may need to consider it burned. If the cash raises a red flag somewhere, you probably don’t want to go back to where you spent it. If you hit the same flea market every weekend, someone may be waiting for you. Question would be I guess, how fast would marked/serial numbered bills raise a red flag?

 

One of my thoughts was to buy things that don’t use serial numbers and sell used. Craigslist, newspaper ads from one region and sell in another. You could probably pay someone to help with the selling.


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#12 dagomike

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 07:24 AM

I wouldn’t want to run a business and risk undeclared earnings w/ the IRS. That’s how they always catch you. I suppos if you did a cash business, you could give the money out as change, but still it probably wouldn’t be hard to lead back to you.


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#13 maddog

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 07:25 AM

A million dollars is a lot of money, but it seems like an amount that is small enough to hide pretty easily.


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#14 Patrick C.

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 07:29 AM

Waiting for the page 3 info on this one :)


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#15 Zaphod_Beeblebrox

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 07:30 AM

Hookers and blow
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#16 KSUwildcatFAN

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 07:39 AM

I wouldn’t want to run a business and risk undeclared earnings w/ the IRS. That’s how they always catch you. I suppos if you did a cash business, you could give the money out as change, but still it probably wouldn’t be hard to lead back to you.

The IRS catching you is probably the biggest risk for any way of using the money, regardless of method.

Chances that a criminal who owned that cash catching you is pretty low unless from a small town and you're poor and start flaunting money like a dumbass.
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#17 Sidney Porter

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 07:39 AM


 
If you keep it, you have two things to consider. A criminal type is likely to come looking for it and the cash could be marked or serial numbers recorded.
 
 

i think you also need to account for if it is counterfeit. if you can figure out that it is, I think the temptation to keep is reduced. 


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#18 tjbsilv

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 08:03 AM

The IRS catching you is probably the biggest risk for any way of using the money, regardless of method.


The IRS doesn't care where your income comes from, they just want their piece of the action.
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#19 tjbsilv

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 08:07 AM

Buy cars from private sellers in multiple locations...pay cash. Store said cars and sell them to provide buyers over an extended period of time. Accept payment in cash. Profit.
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#20 Mynameisluka

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Posted 11 May 2020 - 09:40 AM

The IRS doesn't care where your income comes from, they just want their piece of the action.

 

yeah, but fincen does.


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