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Tales From The Coronaclypse

firearms food hunting youre welcome

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#1 Dave

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Posted 19 March 2020 - 01:45 PM

Today I was driving down an off campus road and there was a scantily clad blonde on the sidewalk in front of this house, hopping from one foot to the other like it was hot. She was holding a sign that said 'You honk, we drink!'

So, I honked the horn and suddenly about 10 heads and shoulders popped up from behind the hedges that were obscuring the porch, each had a beer, and they started chugging and giving me the thumbs up. I drove off honking and there was so much movement on the porch it was a blur in  the mirror lol.

 

Then, I hit the Piggly Wiggly for a couple of items. I got in the shortest line on the end. There was a lady being rung up and a man standing behind her, waiting his turn.

A fat woman with 4 snotty nosed kids came up close behind me, too close, really crowding me. Everyone else I came in contact with today were keeping a little distance except for this woman.

So, I faked the nastiest wet cough into my elbow and that woman couldn't shoo her kids away from me fast enough!

The guy in front of me looked a little alarmed but after the lady and kids left I whispered to him ' that's how you get six feet of separation' and gave a little sly wink. He laughed and seemed relieved.


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#2 Genesee Ted

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Posted 19 March 2020 - 01:51 PM

Relieved? Like he shit himself in fear?

#3 Dave

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Posted 19 March 2020 - 01:53 PM

When he heard my fake wet cough he looked like he was close to panic  :D


But he probably shit himself, looked capable


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#4 Thag

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Posted 19 March 2020 - 01:59 PM

How did he hear a whisper from one Joey Ramone away?
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#5 Dave

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Posted 19 March 2020 - 03:06 PM

At that point it was .86 Joeys because I stepped up to get away from the snot.
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