Get out of my thread drier january, teatollers, alcohol deniers, women.
I thirst. I want to install a heart valve into my keg so all i have to do is pull and ... omfg ... omffff ...
Daddy, what are you doing in the basement?
Might be the weather, or a number of other nebulous variables, but i'd kill just to sell my soul to satan for a beer right now. And the thing is, i have plenty of beer. It's not enough. I want to buy a beer with my soul. Satan? Bro? Don't make me pay cash or even use a bottle opener. I shouldn't have to get up out of my chair. I tried summoning him, it didn't work. Kids wont be home to get me a beer for at least ... *looks around* maybe they are home. Whatever. A beer for them is whatever's on the lower shelf of the main fridge. I drink from the garage fridge, thank you very much. Or, that pressure tap that im getting my heart hooked into.
Still no satan. If i have to get up i might fall down and break my hip. Yeah, i got another hip, but its just not the same. That was MY hip to break AFTER i got hammered and (double hammered actually, sledge hammered) fell down good and proper. Plus, the basement stairs always miss the hip for my skull and forearms. Falling down sober isn't the same.
Anyway, the few of you who still ... retain the capability to pass liquid life o'er ur lips, whuh're you hrinkin' right now and perhaps later tonight?