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Pouring one out for my big sister..


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#81 djinkc

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Posted 28 August 2019 - 04:47 PM

Damn. This will pass though......


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#82 matt6150

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Posted 28 August 2019 - 04:55 PM

I'm glad you got some closure, continued vibes.
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#83 weeperabr

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Posted 28 August 2019 - 05:08 PM

Very, very sad.
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#84 deejaydan

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Posted 28 August 2019 - 07:36 PM

Dude, sorry to hear of this, and sorry I missed this first time around.  I'll hoist one in her honor tonight.


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#85 SchwanzBrewer

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Posted 28 August 2019 - 07:44 PM

Feck. Vibes dude.


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#86 BFB

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Posted 29 August 2019 - 05:14 AM

Vibes dude. 

Families can really suck at times. 


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#87 GaryNConcord

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Posted 29 August 2019 - 05:56 AM

Damn that is tough.  Vibes sent, and will raise a glass again tonight for your sister.  


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#88 TonyBrown

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Posted 29 August 2019 - 07:28 AM

feck dude, that's sad.

 

 

sidenote - is the suicide going to be a problem with the estate/insurance benefit??  reckon you wont know for a bit but still hope everything ends up right.


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#89 Bklmt2000

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Posted 29 August 2019 - 09:44 AM

feck dude, that's sad.

 

sidenote - is the suicide going to be a problem with the estate/insurance benefit??  reckon you wont know for a bit but still hope everything ends up right.

 

I spoke with the HR folks at Homeland Security this morning, and they said that the cause of death being officially listed as suicide on the death certificate will not prevent benefits from being awarded, including my sister's life insurance policy.

 

I recall from many years back that insurance companies used to fight paying a policy out when the insured committed suicide, but it appears (at least for now) that the won't be the case here.  Will know more in a few months, likely next spring, when this process is finalized by OPM (Office of Personnel Management, who will be processing my sister's death benefits).

 

As far as my sister's actual estate (her home, car, personal possessions, etc.) I'm out of the loop on the entirely; my mother (as next of kin) is handling that entirely on her own, and I expect nothing from that at all. 

 

So far as that goes, my mother can keep whatever she can get from that; I want nothing to do with her.


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#90 TonyBrown

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Posted 29 August 2019 - 09:47 AM

I spoke with the HR folks at Homeland Security this morning, and they said that the cause of death being officially listed as suicide on the death certificate will not prevent benefits from being awarded, including my sister's life insurance policy.

good to hear.


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#91 dondewey

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Posted 29 August 2019 - 10:28 AM

Sucks, man. I'm doubly sorry for your loss and your family's bs.

Good to hear on the insurance thing. I got a policy a while back and noted that suicide was totally covered. The only exception for coverage was a car crash where I wasn't wearing a seat belt.
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#92 Bklmt2000

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Posted 10 November 2019 - 08:09 AM

Bumping for a few updates, mostly pleasant, and one not-so-pleasant.

 

A couple of months back, I spoke with the federal retirement folks about my sister's retirement savings (I got a letter from them that said I might be a beneficiary, so I filed a claim).  The feds said that after checking, I wasn't a named beneficiary, and as Karen never named one in writing for her retirement savings, whatever she had would be paid to our mother, as Karen's legal next of kin. No big deal, IMO; never expected to get anything from Karen (I was a beneficiary for her back pay and unused PTO, which was a pleasant surprise and much appreciated).

 

Fast-forward to this week. 

 

Got a letter in the mail Tuesday from the federal Office of Personnel Mgmt, saying I was Karen's sole beneficiary for a fairly sizable lump-sum death benefit, that it was tax-free, ( :o) and that I've be getting 2 checks within the next 14 days.  Color me surprised, since I figured things were done and settled.  Said checks arrived Friday; they're official live checks from the US Treasury (look the same as a tax refund check), and they have her death benefit claim# on them.  Those will go into the bank this week.

 

Got another pleasnt surprise last week, this time involving TIAA-CREF.  When my dad's stepmom (Carol, a retired English professor) passed 3 years ago, me and my siblings were each named as Carol's beneficiaries for her retirement savings at CREF, and I left my inheritance invested there as an inherited IRA, and apparently Karen did the same.  And unknown to me, Karen named me a beneficiary for her inheritance from Carol, so when CREF finally learned of Karen's passing, I got an email from them to call.  I called up their customer svc dept., and got Karen's accounts transferred to me, where they got rolled into my current investments, so I didn't have to take any of Karen's stuff as a distribution.

 

Of course, there is always a fly in the ointment, and that fly is my mother. 

 

She called my house Thursday and left a msg, hunting for info on Karen's CREF stuff, (Mom had called CREF and they wouldn't talk to her about anything related to Karen, as my mom wasn't a named benficiary).  She's basically looking for a(nother) handout; her voicemail was rambling and fairly incoherent, but I was able to piece together that she's hard up for money, and wants a chunk of whatever I'm getting.  No apologies or explanation for the shit she pulled earlier this summer after Karen died, nothing, just another lame attempt to get money she isn't entitled to.

 

Suffice to say, I didn't call her back.

 

What a week.


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#93 ER Pemberton

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Posted 10 November 2019 - 08:14 AM

Wow, brother.  It's a real roller coaster but you are a stable person in a good situation so most everything is sunny for you.  The part about your mom is really, really hard to wrap your head around.  Vibes again about your sister and I suppose some vibes regarding your mom because I'm sure that can't be easy to navigate.  Great and unexpected news about the inheritance you received.  Peace brother.  


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#94 badogg

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Posted 10 November 2019 - 06:23 PM

Jesus christ people can really suck. Especially family. When my mom died in march, I was asked if there was anything of hers I wanted. I'm not one to want a piece of anyone's stuff after death, so I declined anything. I have pictures and memories, that's all I need.

Dude, forget about the memorial service and getting to say goodbye to her. You can do that yourself in private. I think that is a better way than in a dedicated service with a lot of other people. Maybe that's just me, but if it were me I'd want people I cared about to say goodbye privately, and alone.
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#95 Mickey

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Posted 10 November 2019 - 08:24 PM

Damn*60(call block)is your friend. It’s sickening how they act when it comes to money
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#96 Hillbilly Deluxe

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Posted 12 November 2019 - 08:18 AM

Vibes
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