342 replies to this topic

[DuncanDad]

Damn man, what is her reasoning for her hatred of you?  Simply that you expect her to act her age?

 

 

He married her mom.  I had the same problem with my stepkid.

 

Yep.

We got married when she was 5 years old. She had her mom to herself for about 4 years after her dad walked out.

My mother in law didn't help either. She was insanely jealous of me and spent a good part of our early marriage trash talking about me to just about anyone who would listen. That included the step daughter.

She blames me for her dad not wanting to spend time with her. She blames all her emotional issues because the W/G traveled for, like, 4 years.

It's all bullshit and I'm done with it.

[DuncanDad]

Well, Chris the Marine came into town last week. They didn't get shit settled and I have 3 pissed off kids because we let Chris stay here with the girls.

Right now, they can all pretty much, kiss my ass.

They fluff around like this is some kind of high school break up and the only "feelings" that count are the Step Daughter's. Well, sorry folks, we are dealing with this as well. There are two girls who love their dad and mom and us. Take that into your "feelings" consideration.

 

As I told my son and daughter, Chris the the girl's father and we will have a good relationship with him if nothing but for the girl's sake. The step daughter has told us many times she hates us and everything else. So, I'm going to be on good terms with at least one parent - the sane one.

[TonyBrown]

Drink on my man!!!

#ChugLife

[Vagus]

Well, Chris the Marine came into town last week. They didn't get shit settled and I have 3 pissed off kids because we let Chris stay here with the girls.

Right now, they can all pretty much, kiss my ass.

They fluff around like this is some kind of high school break up and the only "feelings" that count are the Step Daughter's. Well, sorry folks, we are dealing with this as well. There are two girls who love their dad and mom and us. Take that into your "feelings" consideration.

 

As I told my son and daughter, Chris the the girl's father and we will have a good relationship with him if nothing but for the girl's sake. The step daughter has told us many times she hates us and everything else. So, I'm going to be on good terms with at least one parent - the sane one.

Chug

[DuncanDad]

Drink on my man!!!

#ChugLife

Add to the downer, talked to a builder today. Total BS call.

We have the plans we we want to build. He wants to redraw them.

He wants to budget 30 grand for kitchen cabinets and another 15 grand for the granite countertops. I'm like "No" 15 grand for the cabinets and countertops, (we just remodeled our kitchen last year - I know what this costs).

All in all, he said our house plan was a 400k house. About 150k more than we had thought we may have to spend. More like 100k than I I had thought it would cost to build. Part of that is 11 grand in redrawing plans that I would buy for 1200.00.

 

Then, he tells me how his company is going to build several houses in the neighborhood and they will sell for 400-450k including the lots.

I'm like yeah, but I already own my land outright...

 

I'll keep looking for the right builder.

[dondewey]

If you aren't in a huge hurry, just be the general contractor yourself. Spend some time finding good subs ahead of time.

[KSUwildcatFAN]

Material costs are way up, but agree on that kitchen cost. Seems way high.

[SnowMan]

Add to the downer, talked to a builder today. Total BS call.
We have the plans we we want to build. He wants to redraw them.
He wants to budget 30 grand for kitchen cabinets and another 15 grand for the granite countertops. I'm like "No" 15 grand for the cabinets and countertops, (we just remodeled our kitchen last year - I know what this costs).
All in all, he said our house plan was a 400k house. About 150k more than we had thought we may have to spend. More like 100k than I I had thought it would cost to build. Part of that is 11 grand in redrawing plans that I would buy for 1200.00.

Then, he tells me how his company is going to build several houses in the neighborhood and they will sell for 400-450k including the lots.
I'm like yeah, but I already own my land outright...

I'll keep looking for the right builder.

I don't know on your kitchen. But I've been saying for years that the plans you buy online aren't worth what you pay for them...

[TonyBrown]

And lumber is thru the fvcking roof these days too

[BuxomBrewster]

I don't know on your kitchen. But I've been saying for years that the plans you buy online aren't worth what you pay for them...

We bought the plans for the house we had built from a magazine I got at Home Depot.  $500 for the plans.  That is the only house we've lived in that made sense.  Excellent plans.  I never realized how important it is to get the light switches in the right place.  Just live in a house with DIY switch placement.  It is one of the most frustrating things to have to deal with on a daily basis.  Scott just put almost the entire house on Alexa switches so we can actually have the lights make sense.

[DuncanDad]

I don't know on your kitchen. But I've been saying for years that the plans you buy online aren't worth what you pay for them...

That may be but, from the builders I've spoken to, they have built homes from Don Garnder Plans and had no issue.

 

This guy wants 11 grand to redraw the plans on top of about 25% more than we want to pay for the house. He said he charges between 150 and 165 per ft2. I know the local going rate is 110-125 ft2 because 3 builders have told me their rates. Heck, slab built, 4 side brick houses are going for 93 ft2 but, that's in a pretty crowed neighborhood and not a custom built. That price includes the lot.

 

I'm working my head around how something that is built largely from commodity products, concrete/2X4/block, can vary so much in price for the same product.

[pods8]

That may be but, from the builders I've spoken to, they have built homes from Don Garnder Plans and had no issue.

This guy wants 11 grand to redraw the plans on top of about 25% more than we want to pay for the house. He said he charges between 150 and 165 per ft2. I know the local going rate is 110-125 ft2 because 3 builders have told me their rates. Heck, slab built, 4 side brick houses are going for 93 ft2 but, that's in a pretty crowed neighborhood and not a custom built. That price includes the lot.

I'm working my head around how something that is built largely from commodity products, concrete/2X4/block, can vary so much in price for the same product.

So don’t use him, problem solved.

[DuncanDad]

So don’t use him, problem solved.

That's a given.

[djinkc]

That's a given.

Oh, I think successfully fired you

[Vagus]

That's a given.

You could sell him some of your ... less collegial step children ...  Two birds with one stone and all that.

[DuncanDad]

Oh, I think successfully fired you

Not really. He sent over a very detailed email outlining services and costs.

We may use them to do the site survey to figure out where to put what. That's 4500.00. Not unreasonable.

[DuncanDad]

Well, we are about to have more drama.

Chris the Marine has asked to stay at our house with the girls from the 17th to the 26th. Of course, we said "Yes".

I'm sure we will hear about how hurtful it is to have Chris and the girls here.

 

This is about the girls getting to spend time with their dad in a safe and comfortable space. Otherwise, they would be holed up in a hotel room for Christmas. Not an option for us.

 

They will stay here with their dad. They will play video games and cook together. We will be together for Christmas and that's it.

[AspenLeif]

Yikes.  Good luck, and seems a very difficult situation to be in.  

[DuncanDad]

Yikes.  Good luck, and seems a very difficult situation to be in.  

 

Not if you don't give a good "Damn" about what others think or say.

 

Plus, it gives me an excuse to cook Prime Rib.

[Sidney Shore]

Sounds like you’re being a really good guy here... It’s about the kids...