Jump to content


Photo

Every single decision I’ve ever made has been driven by the desire to feel loved.


  • Please log in to reply
21 replies to this topic

#1 weep er

weep er

    Frequent Member

  • Patron
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 7224 posts

Posted 11 January 2019 - 02:22 AM

Grammar school, class pet, did all of my homework to please parents and teachers.

High school, same. Talked to the teachers like an adult, gave them respect, seemed interested in their class until they adored me.

Got married to the wrong person, had children for the wrong reasons, and then divorced all because I didn’t feel love and wanted to.

I have worked myself into oblivion to please every boss, which pleases me. I think I make myself irreplaceable (a fallacy) by working circles around the rest of the management team. All for me.

Some people are driven by knowledge. But I’ve always known that I’m motivated by longing to feel wanted, liked, adored, missed, needed, etc.

I’m sure there are other things that drive you.

Edited by Wren, 11 January 2019 - 02:49 AM.

  • 0

#2 Trub L

Trub L

    Hooked on a Feelin

  • Patron
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 100196 posts
  • LocationIn the Middle

Posted 11 January 2019 - 02:25 AM

Trying to reach the weekend so that I can feel nothing for a short while.
  • 0

#3 weep er

weep er

    Frequent Member

  • Patron
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 7224 posts

Posted 11 January 2019 - 02:43 AM

Well now I don’t feel so bad.
  • 0

#4 KSUwildcatFAN

KSUwildcatFAN

    Comptroller of ChopSticks & Ghey Bach Chow

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 5602 posts
  • LocationKC Area

Posted 11 January 2019 - 03:16 AM

My motivations are definitely more ambiguous.
  • 0

#5 Buzz Buzzard

Buzz Buzzard

    Comptroller of Fanatical Political Expressionism

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 9282 posts
  • LocationHere, not there.

Posted 11 January 2019 - 04:09 AM

I have never been wanted.
Settled for only.
  • 0

#6 Vagus

Vagus

    Just had an organism

  • Patron
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 37677 posts
  • LocationThere

Posted 11 January 2019 - 04:09 AM

All my motivations are centered around a gnawing hunger that cannot be satisfied. Like food hunger. Meat hunger.  


  • 0

#7 SugarTits

SugarTits

    Comptroller of Nothing

  • Patron
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 41763 posts

Posted 11 January 2019 - 05:13 AM

Two things motivate me. I never want my children to experience poverty and I want them to always have daily access to their family. I never met my father and there were years I never saw my mother. She had MS and would require surgeries and rehabilitation that sometimes lasted 9 to 10 months.
  • 0

#8 Zsasz

Zsasz

    Anti-Brag Queen

  • Patron
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 37811 posts
  • LocationLimbo

Posted 11 January 2019 - 05:30 AM

well that's very self aware.  no idea why I do anything.  I try not to think about it.


  • 0

#9 GaryNConcord

GaryNConcord

    Frequent Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1383 posts
  • LocationConcord, NC

Posted 11 January 2019 - 06:07 AM

Sounds like its time to get a start on trusting yourself that you're a good person, and not depend on others' confirmation of that.


  • 0

#10 djinkc

djinkc

    Comptroller of Non-Defending Defenders of Inarticulate Twats

  • Patron
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 26005 posts
  • LocationKC - Kansas side

Posted 11 January 2019 - 06:19 AM

Late 2012 and early 2013 I pretty much lost all motivation - even the will to live.  A dark time

 

Then they started making Twinkies again


  • 0

#11 Vagus

Vagus

    Just had an organism

  • Patron
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 37677 posts
  • LocationThere

Posted 11 January 2019 - 06:23 AM

Then came chocolate dipped twinkies
  • 0

#12 the_stain

the_stain

    Phat O'Mic Chef Winner!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 72095 posts

Posted 11 January 2019 - 06:33 AM

I've made a lot of choices out of a desire to feel "normal." Ever since as long I can remember I have felt like an outcast, like people have treated me differently. I've been called names like "nerd" since I was 8 years old and always felt like the "odd man out" in group settings .

So a lot of things I have done and some bad choices I've made have been in the name of being seen more like a "regular person" and not any different than anyone else.
  • 0

#13 KSUwildcatFAN

KSUwildcatFAN

    Comptroller of ChopSticks & Ghey Bach Chow

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 5602 posts
  • LocationKC Area

Posted 11 January 2019 - 06:36 AM

I've made a lot of choices out of a desire to feel "normal." Ever since as long I can remember I have felt like an outcast, like people have treated me differently. I've been called names like "nerd" since I was 8 years old and always felt like the "odd man out" in group settings .

So a lot of things I have done and some bad choices I've made have been in the name of being seen more like a "regular person" and not any different than anyone else.

I hate that people get bullied. My brother did. He was the older so nothing I could have done about it. Wish our ages were different. So with that said, there's a lot of biological factors (only ones I've theorized, have no idea if it's been studied or anything) why we're wired to conform. Part of that is social pressures we put on ourselves and what we put on others to do so. If human kind didn't, at least ona subset level (ie-families>villages>states>kingdoms), pull in the same direction... We may not have survived, or thrived, as well as we have as a species. It's a form of organizing. For those that stand out, it can be painful.
  • 0

#14 EWW

EWW

    Regular, normal human being

  • Patron
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 20588 posts
  • LocationSomewhere special

Posted 11 January 2019 - 06:42 AM

aspire nobly
adventure daringly
serve humbly
  • 0

#15 the_stain

the_stain

    Phat O'Mic Chef Winner!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 72095 posts

Posted 11 January 2019 - 06:42 AM

Yeah. I also tend to have trust issues. I've missed a lot of opportunities for friendship because I was suspicious about why this person was being so nice to me... in retrospect they were likely just friendly, outgoing people. But I always get this sense that I'm being set up for something, like Carrie at the prom.
  • 0

#16 ScottS

ScottS

    Lord and Master

  • King of the Chickens
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 15756 posts
  • LocationMy lawn

Posted 11 January 2019 - 06:48 AM

My motivation has changed tremendously over the years.  These days... well, I have to do something, and doing something poorly is boring, so I might as well kick ass at it.  I look at the career path that implies and I'm not entirely sure I'm going to be thrilled with where that takes me.  But the thought of treading water for 20+ years sounds way, way worse.



#17 davelew

davelew

    Comptroller of ACMSO That Are Not Beans

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 12879 posts
  • LocationReading, Massachusetts

Posted 11 January 2019 - 07:02 AM

I had a really satisfying bowel movement this morning.


  • 0

#18 TonyBrown

TonyBrown

    Comptroller of C-Blocking and Wet Streak Marks

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 56162 posts
  • LocationAntioch, IL

Posted 11 January 2019 - 07:12 AM

OMFGcohol!!!


  • 0

#19 Beejus McReejus

Beejus McReejus

    Comptroller of Flying Ducks

  • Patron
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 10248 posts
  • LocationTopeka, KS

Posted 11 January 2019 - 07:31 AM

Yeah. I also tend to have trust issues. I've missed a lot of opportunities for friendship because I was suspicious about why this person was being so nice to me... in retrospect they were likely just friendly, outgoing people. But I always get this sense that I'm being set up for something, like Carrie at the prom.

 

Yep, same here.  I was bullied a little in school, but have always had issues with self worth and feeling like people want to use me, even though it has rarely happened in my life.  No clear reason why I have self esteem issues that I can pinpoint, so I think maybe it's just "normal" and shit that everyone struggles with at some level. 

 

I can also relate the OP and want to please and impress others.  I have a strong aversion to disappointing other people, but I also feel as I'm getting older I am becoming better at drawing that line and giving less fecks.  It's a work in progress.  :)


  • 0

#20 Buzz Buzzard

Buzz Buzzard

    Comptroller of Fanatical Political Expressionism

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 9282 posts
  • LocationHere, not there.

Posted 11 January 2019 - 08:08 AM

That.
  • 0


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users