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PHBT: New Band Personality Issue


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#1 Howie

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 07:32 AM

I joined a new band project a couple of months ago.

I’m pretty excited about where the project can go, but I’m getting awfully frustrated with the lack of direction from the guy that put things together

He’s poorly organized, provides little direction, doesn’t seem to always read or respond to emails and texts, seems out of touch with email discussions the rest of us are having, won’t say much or direct things at practice. On the other hand, he’s quick to point out that we aren’t progressing like he wants

Weeks ago I sort of started taking charge and “directing traffic” a bit. Put together an organized spreadsheet of songs, started sending detailed emails with what we worked on in rehearsals, when the next rehearsal will be, what we hope to work on, etc.

Also, at practice, I’ve been sort of trying to keep us focused and reigned in a bit. I don’t really have any interest in being “in charge,” but also am getting tired of the lack of leadership and direction. One of the reasons I joined a band rather than starting one is because I didn’t really want to be in charge

Anyway, I’ve been pushing the idea that we need to start thinking of a name, so we can go ahead and get a website, social media, etc set up. In my experience, selecting a band name can be an arduous task that takes a long time. Figured it would make sense to go ahead and get that rolling, so it wouldn’t hang us up later on.

I asked leader dude a few weeks ago if he’d considered a name. He responded “haven’t given it one minute of thought.” That was the end of the conversation.

So, we’d started talking about it at our last rehearsal, and a few of us have been emailing around band name ideas the last few days

Last night we all get the following email from the head guy “I have an idea - let’s all learn the songs without mistakes and worry about a band name later”

Now, I can’t say that I disagree with what he’s saying. We still have some work to do. But I found the comment to be extremely condescending. We are all adults, most have played in working bands before. We all still know there’s work to do.

On the flip side, I don’t see any harm in working on the “business side” of things while we are still woodshedding songs

Given his lack of communication and leadership thus far, this comment absolutely made my blood boil. It was all I could do from replying that I was quitting, but decided to wait until today since I’d had a lot of alcohol yesterday.

My wife keeps asking why I’m staying in the band if it’s causing me this much frustration
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#2 Don Foolio

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 07:49 AM

The guy sounds like a tool... Name the band after him... Call it Yoko :lol:
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#3 Zaphod_Beeblebrox

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 07:50 AM

Can you get rid of just him? How do the other guys feel?
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#4 ER Pemberton

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 07:52 AM

No real help but I absolutely hate people that act like that. Collaboration requires communication. The condescending attitude is a whole other issue. Not cool. Good luck with it Howie.

#5 Howie

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 08:05 AM

Can you get rid of just him? How do the other guys feel?


Can’t easily get rid of just him

I know one other member that I’m more friends with has been equally as stumped with dude’s overall attitude and was also pretty pissed yesterday
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#6 Zaphod_Beeblebrox

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 08:09 AM

If you are getting a good vibe from everyone else, just keep going on with what you are doing. He will either get in line or blow up and leave. The social media side is make or break it for bands now. You can't just start that shit at the last minute.

Once you do get a FB and Instagram going post it, so we can support you.
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#7 ER Pemberton

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 08:12 AM

But it sounds like it's HIS band, right?  If so, he's not leaving... everyone else is.  Then the rest of you get together, find someone else who does what dude does and boom, instant awesome band with awesome personalities!  :D



#8 StankDelicious

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 08:17 AM


Once you do get a FB and Instagram going post it, so we can support you.

 

I'll mail you Zaph's panties.


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#9 Dave McG

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 08:18 AM

I'll mail you Zaph's panties.

The ones from the epic day at the beach?
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#10 StankDelicious

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 08:19 AM

The ones from the epic day at the beach?

Not even Exxon could clean up that oil slick.


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#11 JKor

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 08:35 AM

Band name suggestion 1: Taharrush.
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#12 JKor

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 08:38 AM

But it sounds like it's HIS band, right? If so, he's not leaving... everyone else is. Then the rest of you get together, find someone else who does what dude does and boom, instant awesome band with awesome personalities! :D


Exactly. Seems really easy to get rid of him.
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#13 Howie

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 08:41 AM

Exactly. Seems really easy to get rid of him.


I know one of the other guys would be loyal to him. Not sure about the others. Also, dude owns the rehearsal space

So, probably best to keep working for now. However, I feel like I need I say something to address the condescending comment. Still stewing on that
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#14 Brian72

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 08:43 AM

Rum Dumpster
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#15 Don Foolio

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 08:55 AM

Zaph’s Panties
Personality Issues

Both are potentially decent band names
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#16 Howie

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 12:58 PM

But glad you guys are comfirming that my thinking is correct here

Always good to have some outside opinions before making a move
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#17 Don Foolio

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 02:27 PM

So your “silent band leader” how he coming along as a musician, is he perfect or does he have his own musical issues?
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#18 Trub L

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 02:33 PM

My response would have simply been, "I have an idea - how about we call ourselves the Raging Dickheads?"
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#19 Dave

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 02:49 PM

If the band leader isn't leading it's time to get another.

I've been in disorganized bands and they usually turned into loud drunkfests .

Fun but no progression.


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#20 SchwanzBrewer

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Posted 12 August 2018 - 03:54 PM

I worked with a band guy once. I never want that stress. Unless you are making a living doing it, it should be low stress and fun. The personalities in that world would make me stabby.
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