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invalid/handicapped divorce

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#1 Hillbilly Deluxe

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 01:52 PM

I have a buddy that I found out is now divorced for 1 year plus. His wife initiated it due to his illness/ Multiple Sclerosis.... She just couldn't deal with him/ his illness anymore... he's wheelchair bound. All their kids (4) are either finishing college or are onto their own careers. So he's pretty much all by himself living on Coronado Island, Calf.... I don't know the details of their arrangement but I did see a picture of him, his kids, and his former wife and her boyfriend all like one happy family..... I wouldn't/couldn't deal with that. I have been trying to get in touch with him to talk with him, but no response. He and his wife are still Facebook friends so he sees all her posts of exotic vacations, lovey kissy kissy dinners out with her boyfriend. I just can't imagine why he would put up with that.... I understand that when you have kids, you make things work for their sake but I don't get this at all.

 

anyway anyone else delt with something like this?


Edited by Hillbilly Deluxe, 09 July 2018 - 01:53 PM.

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#2 ER Pemberton

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 01:56 PM

I feel like divorced people use FB to show their ex how happy they are without them.  If I was in a similar situation I would want as much contact with my kids as I could get but no contact with my wife and I would not be looking at any of her FB posts.


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#3 Vagus

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 01:57 PM

Man, some days i feel like my wife would divorce me for sitting down on the couch, let alone a wheel chair. 

 

So my dad and I spent a lot of time taking care of my mom when she had the ALS.  It's not a burden i'd want to put on anyone.  So, if i had something like that, i'd probably try to arrange it so my family didn't remember me as an ass to be wiped and a body to be turned over so the sores could be sucked out.  


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#4 BFB

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 02:03 PM

Is she hot?
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#5 armagh

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 02:06 PM

Reason 506 not to have a Facebook account (goddamn autocorrect, that should read Fecesbook)


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#6 porter

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 02:07 PM

Reason 506 not to have a Facebook account (goddamn autocorrect, that should read Fecesbook)


I almost posted the exact same thing, just with a different number.
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#7 BIG POPPA

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 02:19 PM

I have a friend of mine whom I met doing some testing for seizures in the hospital. We've been pretty decent friends since. He is mentally disabled. He is still married tho. He was in a horrible accident with brain trauma that has left him incapacitated in many ways. He has worked all his life..came home and gave his money to his wife like a good little boy. He has tried to keep her happy and it is his one driving ambition in life apparently. He is in love with this woman. She is constantly berating him in public, always has something negative to say about him, and treats him like her personal servant. He just smiles and goes and does what ever it will take to make her happy at that moment. 

 

It's hard for me to be in the same company with him and his wife. You can tell by talking to him that at one point in his life he was extremely smart and was an engineer at Michelin. He is still smart, but it just takes time for him to explain something to you, but it's usually spot on. She works, he can't. So he stays at home cleans house, cooks, does all household duties and yard work with out complaint..... with his wife riding his ass the whole way. 

 

I could not do that. I ask him to go with me camping or what not but he always says about the same thing. "I'll have to ask my wife, she might have something for me to do". 


Edited by glassonion, 09 July 2018 - 02:19 PM.

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#8 Beejus McReejus

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 02:33 PM

That's horrible. Apparently in sickness and in health didn't mean much to her.

My FIL has taken care of my wife's mother after her stroke 8 years ago. He's an incredible man and a true inspiration. He deals with so much, even on top of her physical disabilities, as the stroke and subsequent brain bleed really messed up her rationale and cognition. She accuses him of horrible and ridiculous things and can be extremely paranoid. But other times you see the old Lizzy in there. I can't imagine doing what he does for her, sacrificing so much, and getting accused of things. But he does it with a smile because of the love she gave him before the stroke. They are an amazing couple.

Edited by Beejus McReejus, 09 July 2018 - 02:33 PM.

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#9 Jabberdave

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 02:38 PM

In my opinion, that's a straight up cold bitch. I guess the "for better or for worse" meant nothing. More like "for better or I'm out."

I feel for your friend.
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#10 ER Pemberton

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 02:42 PM

Occasionally I see one person in a marriage treat the other person really poorly.  It's uncomfortable and it goes against everything that I believe in.  My FIL has treated my MIL really harshly for no reason and she accepts it.  My SIL has treated my BIL harshly too and I wonder where the compassion is.  But people who treat others that way are rarely open to any type of dialog on the matter.  They think what they think and everyone else can suck it, apparently.  I've said it before... relationships can be hard.  For those of you who have a sweet, solid and warm relationship with your spouse, God bless you.  


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#11 Hillbilly Deluxe

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 02:43 PM

Is she hot?


For sure, but personality, the jury is still out..

In my opinion, that's a straight up cold bitch. I guess the "for better or for worse" meant nothing. More like "for better or I'm out."

I feel for your friend.


My wife said this very thing...
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#12 Hillbilly Deluxe

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 02:47 PM

In my opinion, that's a straight up cold bitch. I guess the "for better or for worse" meant nothing. More like "for better or I'm out."

I feel for your friend.


Thanks ...
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#13 TonyBrown

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 03:11 PM

Occasionally I see one person in a marriage treat the other person really poorly. It's uncomfortable and it goes against everything that I believe in. My FIL has treated my MIL really harshly for no reason and she accepts it. My SIL has treated my BIL harshly too and I wonder where the compassion is. But people who treat others that way are rarely open to any type of dialog on the matter. They think what they think and everyone else can suck it, apparently. I've said it before... relationships can be hard. For those of you who have a sweet, solid and warm relationship with your spouse, God bless you.

to be fair, we are outsiders looking in, there may be reasons for harsh treatment, could be well deserved
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#14 3rd party JKor

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 03:21 PM

Tough situation, yuck. Being a burden to my SO/family is my absolute worst nightmare.
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#15 pods8

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 03:29 PM

My wife said this very thing...

 

Does she personally work for her lifestyle?  IE was husband 1 the breadwinner and rather than step up she found a new meal ticket? 
 


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#16 dagomike

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 03:42 PM

Was expecting to read invy hooked up with a divorced handicap person.
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#17 Hillbilly Deluxe

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 03:54 PM

Does she personally work for her lifestyle?  IE was husband 1 the breadwinner and rather than step up she found a new meal ticket? 
 

 

Nope, her Mom and Dad are very wealthy and they supported her and my buddy since he couldn't work. I don't know if she worked, I assume since they have 4 kids...I never asked too many questions.. She just dumped my buddy for a more exciting lifestyle/guy ect….  I assuming all this since I have not gotten a full story yet...


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#18 Lee in Texas

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 04:07 PM

Ugh. Quit reading after 3 or 4 posts. It's super shitty to treat someone like that. What a depressing thread.
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#19 Patrick C.

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 05:09 PM

Don't know if I could handle that.  Would definitely make me bitter toward her.

 

 

 

It's hard to love a man whose legs are bent and paralyzed
And the wants and needs of a woman your age, Ruby, I realized
But it won't be long I've heard them say until I'm not around

Oh, Ruby,
Don't take your love to town

She's leaving now 'cause I just heard the slamming of the door
The way I know I've heard it slam one hundred times before
And if I could move I'd get my gun and put her in the ground

Oh, Ruby,
Don't take your love to town


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#20 toonces

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 05:16 PM

*clears throat*
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